shatterdriven | Seasons Inbox

You've reached Nine.

If this is important or an emergency, I'll get back to you as soon as I get your message. If not, I'll get back to you when its convenient and if I feel like it. I'm not making any promises either way.

I won't waste your time, so don't waste mine.

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From:

shatterdriven

[It takes a few extra seconds for the wheels in Nine's head to start turning. Two birthday parties, one for all ages, and one very not? He can guess the broad strokes, but there's a lot about that he doesn't know yet so...]

Under a certain age limit? You mean under sixteen?

[Probably things he hasn't seriously considered exploring despite how may people his age are well into it?]

But, I'll come to your all ages party, if you like. And help with setup if you need. Once you know what you'll be doing.

From:

splittingheadache

[Yeah, Louis can't help but chuckle.]

Technically, the limit should be eighteen... but my own form is nebulous at best, having been frozen at seventeen due to my immortality.
So, yes, the limit for that one is sixteen at youngest.

[Life kind of uhhhh sucks for some Grim Reapers! There are a couple of bars back in the land of the dead that he's not allowed in despite having existed for nearly thirty years total, and it infuriates him to no end--]

I'd be very happy to have you there, though, but frankly... I have no idea what I'll be doing.
I have never had a birthday party before, so it'll be left with Lycaon to come up with ideas.

The most I am aware of is cake and presents. And even then, I'd rather not expect gifts from others for whom I'm inviting for their company...

From:

shatterdriven

...Luckily even though I'm sixteen, I'm not invested enough to push that.

[He'll understand the appeal someday. But not today, and not about a party that at least includes the man his dad has feelings for...because that would be beyond weird.

And hey, you can go to any and every bar you want here, Louis, so improvement?]

I have...really limited experience with birthdays, as my first was last year. From what I understand from also being a guest at one, gifts aren't something you expect from your guest. It might just happen unless you specifically make it known you'd rather not.

Besides that, it seems to be doing what you enjoy that you think your guests would too. So you should definitely have input on what we'll be doing.

From:

splittingheadache

Well... admittedly I'm not sure I would want to invite Lycaon's son to that sort of party, regardless of if you were invested or not. My apologies.

[So, yeah, he agrees that would be pretty damn weird. ... Especially since he's got feelings for Lycaon in return and all.
Subconsciously already slotting himself into the role of "other parent".

(But he has, in fact, been living it up in Ellipsa, don't worry about that. He's got a couple bars he frequents, since the alcohol helps him keep his Orange magic in check!
Can't get him drunk, but it sure can dilute his horribly tainted blood.)]

Hmm... that, then, will be even more difficult for me. Socializing is... something I "bomb" at, so to speak.
And thus, I don't quite know what sort of activity my guests as a whole would enjoy... that I would also enjoy.

[...]

Perhaps an arcade?
Despite sounding as though I've been torn out of a particularly shitty, overly-prosed novel, I am fond of video games. So long as they're horror, but arcades abound in zombie shooters.
But would that be too much, what with the lights and sounds...?

[Too much for Nine, he means.]

From:

shatterdriven

[That actually gets a little chuckle.]

I don't think you should apologize for not wanting to do something we both probably agree would be weird.

[Arcade...he'd probably like video games honestly, so it would be a good time to try some.]

I wouldn't know. I haven't been in one. But whether you go with a full arcade or just a dedicated game room for the party, I know someone with a boyfriend who also really likes horror games. Maybe you could get suggestions from him.

From:

splittingheadache

Well - I apologize anyway, less for what it is, more for feeling guilty that I have an entire party that I can't invite you to.
I was... raised to believe that if you hold a gathering, you must invite all of your contacts to it, otherwise it's a grave insult.

I understand, of course, that it isn't, but...

[Rich people, man. Networking above all else. It's so ingrained in him, he can't help but feel bad disallowing Nine from going. Despite what it is.]

That said - if you haven't been to an arcade, then I almost feel we must choose that as the setting.
Or a dedicated game room, as you suggest, but I own nothing to fill such a room with.

All the horror I own, rather than being video games, takes the form of novels and films. And... somehow I feel people wouldn't enjoy a horror film marathon for a birthday party in November.

From:

shatterdriven

That's a weird thing to raise people to do. Which isn't a reflection on you.

[Societal rules around nicety...not something Nine is upset he missed out on.]

I can say I don't dislike the idea, so if it's something you like, you have my vote and I'm sure I can help you set something up in time. [Meaning pester a friend for suggestions to bring over.]

...you really should meet MK's boyfriend though. He makes the guy sound like he lives horror. He'd probably marathon movies any time of year with you. Birthday or not.

From:

splittingheadache

Ah, what can I say? My parents cared more for our family's image than my own personal wellbeing.

[He's very, very happy he lives on a completely separate plane of reality from his parents, now. :)]

Mm... have I met MK, himself? I'm sure I have heard of him... who might his boyfriend be?

From:

shatterdriven

I'll just consider myself lucky Lycaon's the only parent I've had then.

[Good, use that independence and be happy.]

If you've been to the Dealer's Den you've met MK. He owns it and is there basically every night. I haven't met his boyfriend but MK talks about their movie nights when he comes in for checkups or needs something. His name's Cole.

From:

splittingheadache

As you rightly should; he is a wonderful person, and I have no doubts he's equally wonderful a father.

[Careful, Nine, or he might gush about your dad--]

I've yet to visit the Dealer's Den, myself... but perhaps I'll have to change this? So that I may meet him and his boyfriend.
I could use more people to talk horror with.
It's a bit difficult being a fan of such when most everyone I speak to can't handle the idea of a little bit of blood.

From:

splittingheadache

- Ah, that reminds me, however. Something else I wished to discuss.
You know of my powers...

I didn't want to say this in front of Lycaon, as I feel he would disapprove. But I wanted you to know, should you ever need them... you may call for me at any time.
The full gamut of them.

Consider them a tool in your toolbox for the future. ... And know, too, that if anything happens to you -
I will not hesitate to use these powers to keep you safe.

From:

shatterdriven

[Not at lunch in public. Besides, there's next to nothing you can say about his dad that he's not aware of as a fact, Louis.]

You should then. MK is a safe enough person to be around and I doubt you'll give him a reason not to be. I don't have much of an opinion either way on horror. I think it just depends on the individual media for me.

[That last part though...Nine's eyes widen. It's not horror or suspicion or anything. Louis can't just say those things though. It's an unfair blow to the heart. People don't care about Nine that much. MK would materialize from the ether if he needed...but he's a hero who cares too much for people as is and has determined him a friend. Lycaon is his dad, and has said he will do everything in his power to protect him when he needs it or if he asks...other people get the "I will do everything in my power and mow down any threat in the way" concern. Not him.

But he's not going to burst into tears in a diner before their food even arrives over it.]

Why though? Especially if you know Dad wouldn't approve.

From:

splittingheadache

...

[Smiling, now, soft and fond. Even putting his elbows on the table, lacing his fingers, and settling his chin on them.]

Why indeed? It must be hard to understand for someone who has cared for themself since they were young.
But...

[- He's interrupted, here, by said food finally arriving, because of course he is. Even sitting up again so he can help the waitress get everything off the tray and onto the table.
And giving her both thanks and a tip, mostly to usher her away.

He's grateful for the short interruption, though. It gives him just enough time to think of how to answer - because honestly, why indeed?

When he finally starts talking, he's still not looking at Nine, instead looking at where the waitress had been - as if his thoughts are complicated and need untangling.]

...

Dandelions growing through streets and sidewalks, determined to live despite the harsh situation they're forced to grow through.
Clovers dotting the hillsides, doing their best to survive despite being dosed in herbicides.
Insects huddled in corners, just trying to survive in a world where everything larger than itself craves its death.

You, forced to raise yourself from a young age, whose shoulders tense at the mere idea that I care for you.

[Now, he turns to look at Nine properly. His expression weirdly sober compared to the almost comical grins he tends to have.]

I am someone who can't help but to love the unloved. When you live a life unwanted, you come to appreciate those who are like yourself -
Those who claw and ache for a place in a world that does not want them.

And because of that... I want you to feel I am a safe space for you. Consider me the crack breaking through the oppressive asphalt for you to grow through, little Dandelion.

From:

shatterdriven

[Nine has no idea what he was expecting the answer to be, but he wasn't prepared, not for this.

A lot of the comments on plant-life and even insects may have evaded him, because New Yoke had pretty effectively snugged out all organic life except for the people, but the meaning definitely doesn't.

He's been seen in a way most don't, haven't cared to even in a world where everyone was oppressed just the same. It's a relief, but also terrifying...not in a way to run from, but to confront. But he also knows better, that he doesn't need to. There's understanding here, not misunderstandings and expectations based on someone not him, no ghost to overcome.

He just...needs a moment with his iced tea, so he unwraps the straw and places it in the glass and starts to drink.]

From:

splittingheadache

...

[The reaction is... sort of what Louis expected. That it must have hit hard, perhaps a bit harder than he intended -
But he stands by what he's said, too.

Still, though. He can tell Nine needs a moment, so he's going to go ahead and take his phone out of his bag...
Just so he can pull up a picture of dandelions, out in a field - bright, orange-yellow ones, an amber color not too unlike Nine's fur, with the photo clearly taken to try and accentuate how pretty they can be.
And that gets placed on the table for Nine to see.]

... In case your world lacks them, these are dandelions. They... are my favorite flower.
There are many flowers that I like, but these are my favorite.

[Yes, despite his rose perfume and the fact that his red outfit likely has roses on it. Roses aren't his favorite.
The weird little sidewalk weeds are.]

From:

shatterdriven

[Glancing down at the phone as he sucks on the straw, he's quiet as he listens without looking at Louis just yet.

Weird little fluffy flowers...he's sure he's heard they're also edible and can be used in teas too. Not that it's his thing.]

We didn't have any flowers in New Yoke, and I never got to consider making any in The Grim.

[He looks up finally with the smallest smile as he meets Louis good eye.]

You're definitely the most different person I've met, you know that?

[It's not a bad thing in the slightest though.]

From:

splittingheadache

[Nine meets his good eye, and instinctually, Louis turns his head so it's focused on the fox more squarely... and smiles a little bit wider, too.]

When you live a life of metal and concrete, sometimes what you need is something different to break through it for you, wouldn't you say?

I'd be happy to introduce you to the different flowers I like, as well, should that interest you at all. To live a life without is... a bleak life.
And that is something I'm saying from experience.

I haven't always been what you see before you. In fact, while I was alive, I likely would have fit right into this New Yoke you keep speaking of.
And... I'm grateful that this is the "me" you've gotten to meet, because of that.

From:

shatterdriven

I have a hard time imagining you fitting in there, but I'm not going to doubt you would. Just not wish it on you.

I...wouldn't mind learning more about flowers from you. I work on commission and I'm on-call for Victoria Housekeeping, so I'm not actually very busy unless I'm scheduled for something...except Sundays. I spar and the rest of the day is resting.

[Stop growing on him. He's going to go home, hug Lycaon, and endorse you at this rate.]

From:

splittingheadache

...

[He's quiet for a moment, as if he's mentally debating something.]

I would love nothing more than to teach you all you wish to know about flowers. Or anything else under my expertise, for that matter -
Flowers, fruits and vegetables, insects, arachnids, annelids, and isopods, psychology, music, poetry, tailoring, magic...
They're all available to you whenever you wish.
But...

[More internal debating, his expression making it clear he's weighing something in his mind.]

... If it interests you, my magic allows me to cast illusions - I could show you what I was before.

[That's something he's offered literally no one else. Not Lycaon, not Evangeline, not his bandmates - no one.
The only person in Ellipsa who knows what "he was before" is the man who killed him originally, the one who made him into what he is now.]

Edited Date: 2025-11-08 09:57 am (UTC)

From:

shatterdriven

[The offer to teach him is appreciated, especially as getting to know each other seems like a certainty at this point.

But that second one, carrying that weight of having needed serious consideration before offering is the more important one.]

I wouldn't ask to see without offering letting you see something in return somehow. That wouldn't feel right. Because you're not putting this out there lightly.

From:

splittingheadache

It's true that I'm not "putting this out there lightly", as you say - but I also wouldn't offer something I don't want to do.
I feel as though it would help you to understand my... "difference" a bit more.

The reason I am the way that I am.

[A pause, thoughtful.]

That... and I'm not sure what I would ask to see from you in return. So please, don't feel obligated.

From:

shatterdriven

[There a lot to take in with that. The lack of pressure, reasoning for offering at all, and the weight of the offer of course.]

...I'll need to think on that for awhile. Maybe I'll come up with something, maybe I won't. But it also won't change the choice I make.

[That would be disrespecting the point altogether, he feels.]

But...thanks. For being open with me.

From:

splittingheadache

[Again, Louis's expression softens... even if it looks a just a bit sad, too.]

I appreciate honesty and openness between people, even if I can't say I'm very good at returning the gesture. This is about as open as I'm consciously capable of, however -
And as part of recognition of the self in the other, I feel there's benefits in sharing these things with you.
And, thus, the offer to see what I was before still sits on the table.

[...]

That said... I must admit, I'm curious. Have others ever been open with you before? Flayed their ribs so you may see what's inside, trusting you with their most grotesque parts?
You speak as though the trust of others has been few and far between for you.

From:

shatterdriven

Most people I learn through what they do, say, and how they carry themselves. Even with Dad at first. Though what he shows is closer to baring himself than it isn't I guess.

[He picks up his sandwich and takes a bite, chewing as he considers how to continue.]

The closest I got first was my best friend. He admitted to how he shattered everything after not listening to his best friend. But he only told me because of their bond and I have the same face. And any trust was built on the perception that I was just like his real friend. Breaking that broke the trust as well...almost to the point of no return.

I don't think that openness would have happened if I didn't look like someone he trusted.

[Still his best friend though.]

MK also has somewhat. Starting with something he was guilty over and had few people to talk to. More literally though, I'm now more familiar with his soul than almost anyone else here and he trusts me to handle that responsibility despite anything I might learn about him in the process. I don't pry into anything I find that's not about his health though.

And Morty...if I haven't seen the ugliest parts of him yet, then it's probably because I actually can't handle it.

[And he handled a lot of what he saw.]

Most of the people who want to be around me or mutual trust are very guarded. And I've never thought to question them because it's what's been the way most people are. Also, I got used to trusting no one and keeping myself to myself well before I had a friend.

You're the first person to try to build that bridge in a more positive way this quickly.

From:

splittingheadache

[As Nine talks, Louis's going to go ahead and get to his iced tea to start with. It also gives him something to focus on as he thinks for a moment, because... he does need to think.]

So what I am hearing, then... is you've yet to have a friendship with others that did not start with some obligation.
In return for trust and openness, they expected things of you. Your best friend expected behavior that wasn't yours - MK expects care and a shoulder.
I can't say I know whom Morty is whatsoever... but if you feel that way about him, then I have no doubts that there's manipulation lurking under the surface.

Speaking from a psychoanalytical standpoint, most people don't bear their most ugly parts in their entirety without wanting something from you in return. Generally, it's done so that you feel you owe them something in return; somewhat similar to the propensity of offering gifts to later use as leverage to get what they want.

[And now he puts his cup down, having been holding it as he talks, so he can bring his own food closer.]

... If any of that hit a bullseye for you, then please know that my own openness comes with no expectations.
The only quote-unquote, "obligation" you have with me is to enjoy yourself when we spend time together. Nothing more.