Seasons Inbox
Dec. 4th, 2023 07:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shatterdrivenYou've reached Nine.
If this is important or an emergency, I'll get back to you as soon as I get your message. If not, I'll get back to you when its convenient and if I feel like it. I'm not making any promises either way.
I won't waste your time, so don't waste mine.
If this is important or an emergency, I'll get back to you as soon as I get your message. If not, I'll get back to you when its convenient and if I feel like it. I'm not making any promises either way.
I won't waste your time, so don't waste mine.
Re: 2/2;
Date: 2025-11-08 08:05 am (UTC)You should then. MK is a safe enough person to be around and I doubt you'll give him a reason not to be. I don't have much of an opinion either way on horror. I think it just depends on the individual media for me.
[That last part though...Nine's eyes widen. It's not horror or suspicion or anything. Louis can't just say those things though. It's an unfair blow to the heart. People don't care about Nine that much. MK would materialize from the ether if he needed...but he's a hero who cares too much for people as is and has determined him a friend. Lycaon is his dad, and has said he will do everything in his power to protect him when he needs it or if he asks...other people get the "I will do everything in my power and mow down any threat in the way" concern. Not him.
But he's not going to burst into tears in a diner before their food even arrives over it.]
Why though? Especially if you know Dad wouldn't approve.
no subject
Date: 2025-11-08 08:24 am (UTC)[Smiling, now, soft and fond. Even putting his elbows on the table, lacing his fingers, and settling his chin on them.]
Why indeed? It must be hard to understand for someone who has cared for themself since they were young.
But...
[- He's interrupted, here, by said food finally arriving, because of course he is. Even sitting up again so he can help the waitress get everything off the tray and onto the table.
And giving her both thanks and a tip, mostly to usher her away.
He's grateful for the short interruption, though. It gives him just enough time to think of how to answer - because honestly, why indeed?
When he finally starts talking, he's still not looking at Nine, instead looking at where the waitress had been - as if his thoughts are complicated and need untangling.]
...
Dandelions growing through streets and sidewalks, determined to live despite the harsh situation they're forced to grow through.
Clovers dotting the hillsides, doing their best to survive despite being dosed in herbicides.
Insects huddled in corners, just trying to survive in a world where everything larger than itself craves its death.
You, forced to raise yourself from a young age, whose shoulders tense at the mere idea that I care for you.
[Now, he turns to look at Nine properly. His expression weirdly sober compared to the almost comical grins he tends to have.]
I am someone who can't help but to love the unloved. When you live a life unwanted, you come to appreciate those who are like yourself -
Those who claw and ache for a place in a world that does not want them.
And because of that... I want you to feel I am a safe space for you. Consider me the crack breaking through the oppressive asphalt for you to grow through, little Dandelion.
Well, there went my heart.
Date: 2025-11-08 09:02 am (UTC)A lot of the comments on plant-life and even insects may have evaded him, because New Yoke had pretty effectively snugged out all organic life except for the people, but the meaning definitely doesn't.
He's been seen in a way most don't, haven't cared to even in a world where everyone was oppressed just the same. It's a relief, but also terrifying...not in a way to run from, but to confront. But he also knows better, that he doesn't need to. There's understanding here, not misunderstandings and expectations based on someone not him, no ghost to overcome.
He just...needs a moment with his iced tea, so he unwraps the straw and places it in the glass and starts to drink.]
nine's a good boy and deserves it tbqh
Date: 2025-11-08 09:11 am (UTC)[The reaction is... sort of what Louis expected. That it must have hit hard, perhaps a bit harder than he intended -
But he stands by what he's said, too.
Still, though. He can tell Nine needs a moment, so he's going to go ahead and take his phone out of his bag...
Just so he can pull up a picture of dandelions, out in a field - bright, orange-yellow ones, an amber color not too unlike Nine's fur, with the photo clearly taken to try and accentuate how pretty they can be.
And that gets placed on the table for Nine to see.]
... In case your world lacks them, these are dandelions. They... are my favorite flower.
There are many flowers that I like, but these are my favorite.
[Yes, despite his rose perfume and the fact that his red outfit likely has roses on it. Roses aren't his favorite.
The weird little sidewalk weeds are.]
He does. He desperately needs to be seen. Also Louis just scored basically all of his loyalty.
Date: 2025-11-08 09:28 am (UTC)Weird little fluffy flowers...he's sure he's heard they're also edible and can be used in teas too. Not that it's his thing.]
We didn't have any flowers in New Yoke, and I never got to consider making any in The Grim.
[He looks up finally with the smallest smile as he meets Louis good eye.]
You're definitely the most different person I've met, you know that?
[It's not a bad thing in the slightest though.]
then it's a good thing louis sure is seeing him...!!
Date: 2025-11-08 09:40 am (UTC)When you live a life of metal and concrete, sometimes what you need is something different to break through it for you, wouldn't you say?
I'd be happy to introduce you to the different flowers I like, as well, should that interest you at all. To live a life without is... a bleak life.
And that is something I'm saying from experience.
I haven't always been what you see before you. In fact, while I was alive, I likely would have fit right into this New Yoke you keep speaking of.
And... I'm grateful that this is the "me" you've gotten to meet, because of that.
They'll become the happiest family!
Date: 2025-11-08 09:51 am (UTC)I...wouldn't mind learning more about flowers from you. I work on commission and I'm on-call for Victoria Housekeeping, so I'm not actually very busy unless I'm scheduled for something...except Sundays. I spar and the rest of the day is resting.
[Stop growing on him. He's going to go home, hug Lycaon, and endorse you at this rate.]
they really will, and nine deserves it!!
Date: 2025-11-08 09:57 am (UTC)[He's quiet for a moment, as if he's mentally debating something.]
I would love nothing more than to teach you all you wish to know about flowers. Or anything else under my expertise, for that matter -
Flowers, fruits and vegetables, insects, arachnids, annelids, and isopods, psychology, music, poetry, tailoring, magic...
They're all available to you whenever you wish.
But...
[More internal debating, his expression making it clear he's weighing something in his mind.]
... If it interests you, my magic allows me to cast illusions - I could show you what I was before.
[That's something he's offered literally no one else. Not Lycaon, not Evangeline, not his bandmates - no one.
The only person in Ellipsa who knows what "he was before" is the man who killed him originally, the one who made him into what he is now.]
Seems like Louis does too!
Date: 2025-11-08 10:07 am (UTC)But that second one, carrying that weight of having needed serious consideration before offering is the more important one.]
I wouldn't ask to see without offering letting you see something in return somehow. That wouldn't feel right. Because you're not putting this out there lightly.
ohhh yeah, he most definitely does u_u
Date: 2025-11-08 10:11 am (UTC)I feel as though it would help you to understand my... "difference" a bit more.
The reason I am the way that I am.
[A pause, thoughtful.]
That... and I'm not sure what I would ask to see from you in return. So please, don't feel obligated.
Re: ohhh yeah, he most definitely does u_u
Date: 2025-11-09 11:23 pm (UTC)...I'll need to think on that for awhile. Maybe I'll come up with something, maybe I won't. But it also won't change the choice I make.
[That would be disrespecting the point altogether, he feels.]
But...thanks. For being open with me.
no subject
Date: 2025-11-09 11:40 pm (UTC)I appreciate honesty and openness between people, even if I can't say I'm very good at returning the gesture. This is about as open as I'm consciously capable of, however -
And as part of recognition of the self in the other, I feel there's benefits in sharing these things with you.
And, thus, the offer to see what I was before still sits on the table.
[...]
That said... I must admit, I'm curious. Have others ever been open with you before? Flayed their ribs so you may see what's inside, trusting you with their most grotesque parts?
You speak as though the trust of others has been few and far between for you.
no subject
Date: 2025-11-10 12:51 am (UTC)[He picks up his sandwich and takes a bite, chewing as he considers how to continue.]
The closest I got first was my best friend. He admitted to how he shattered everything after not listening to his best friend. But he only told me because of their bond and I have the same face. And any trust was built on the perception that I was just like his real friend. Breaking that broke the trust as well...almost to the point of no return.
I don't think that openness would have happened if I didn't look like someone he trusted.
[Still his best friend though.]
MK also has somewhat. Starting with something he was guilty over and had few people to talk to. More literally though, I'm now more familiar with his soul than almost anyone else here and he trusts me to handle that responsibility despite anything I might learn about him in the process. I don't pry into anything I find that's not about his health though.
And Morty...if I haven't seen the ugliest parts of him yet, then it's probably because I actually can't handle it.
[And he handled a lot of what he saw.]
Most of the people who want to be around me or mutual trust are very guarded. And I've never thought to question them because it's what's been the way most people are. Also, I got used to trusting no one and keeping myself to myself well before I had a friend.
You're the first person to try to build that bridge in a more positive way this quickly.
no subject
Date: 2025-11-10 01:07 am (UTC)So what I am hearing, then... is you've yet to have a friendship with others that did not start with some obligation.
In return for trust and openness, they expected things of you. Your best friend expected behavior that wasn't yours - MK expects care and a shoulder.
I can't say I know whom Morty is whatsoever... but if you feel that way about him, then I have no doubts that there's manipulation lurking under the surface.
Speaking from a psychoanalytical standpoint, most people don't bear their most ugly parts in their entirety without wanting something from you in return. Generally, it's done so that you feel you owe them something in return; somewhat similar to the propensity of offering gifts to later use as leverage to get what they want.
[And now he puts his cup down, having been holding it as he talks, so he can bring his own food closer.]
... If any of that hit a bullseye for you, then please know that my own openness comes with no expectations.
The only quote-unquote, "obligation" you have with me is to enjoy yourself when we spend time together. Nothing more.
no subject
Date: 2025-11-10 01:46 am (UTC)I don't follow anyone blindly, and I wasn't open to taking the risk at the time.
[He takes another bite, making sure to swallow.]
MK was falling apart because a lot of the people he was closest to were busy demonizing him for something terrible he did...to a point where it wasn't about him doing better. I was in his position right before everything ended in the Shatterverse, so I listened and I gave him my thoughts. His soul...was a consequence my mentor left him without his consent or having done anything wrong. I have the power to address that, so I chose to without him asking.
[In many senses, he feels protective of the bartender. Definitely responsible for his care when very few others can provide it if he chooses to walk away or is sent home.]
Morty is someone I could have easily turned into if pushed just a little further before I was pulled back. He sees that too in how similar we are and we both see the benefit of cooperation and openness for the purpose of safety and sharing a mission. So there's an expectation from day 1, and it's too soon to say if anything else will come from it.
There's a chance you'll see him around the house occasionally...but his main goal is to be left alone, so you might never meet him at all.
[Morty doesn't scare him...but he is that dangerous "friend" that he wants to keep from being provoked, because he has no optimism that it wouldn't end badly for anyone else. Knowing how to not poke the bear is the safest way to work with one.
And now there's you, Louis. Giving him a perspective and understanding and not immediately expecting him to react in any specific way. And he's in a place where that isn't a red flag to put him on guard.]
Not having this come with an expectation is nice though. I think with Dad I needed the expectation because it was his way of trusting me. It was his legs, after all. And I would have been suspicious if there wasn't an expectation for why he just approached me that day.
no subject
Date: 2025-11-10 01:55 am (UTC)I'm glad, then, that by this point, you seem to have learned that you don't need expectations for...
... A friendship.
[There was definitely a bit of hesitation there, using the word friendship. It's nothing on Nine - it's still just something Louis actively fears.
And, yes, he's still deciding that Nine's his friend. Despite fearing it.]
... With all that you've gone through, you deserve to have people in your life who expect nothing from you. Especially when you're still young.
To try and grow through expectation would be like a plant attempting to grow through...
Well, through asphalt.
no subject
Date: 2025-11-10 02:08 am (UTC)I'm glad the feeling is mutual. I don't have any expectations unless you say you're going to do something first.
no subject
Date: 2025-11-10 02:25 am (UTC)You'll likely recognize when that is. If it happens, please feel free to dismiss whatever drivel comes out of my mouth, because I guarantee I'm already dismissing it, myself.
[... He may or may not be somewhat mentally unwell. Somewhat. Maybe a little.]
That said - I am a man of honor. If, in those moments, I promise you something that your heart becomes set upon... tell me, and I'll do my best to make it happen regardless.
no subject
Date: 2025-11-10 03:03 am (UTC)[Emotional wellness is relative. Nine will support where he can since they're doing this.]
And I will.
no subject
Date: 2025-11-10 03:16 am (UTC)[Yeah. Hm. If they're doing this, maybe he should... be a little more honest.
Though, it's clear enough Louis doesn't feel great about it, considering he's looking away as he starts talking.]
Ah... I suppose there is... a bit more about me that I ought to be open about.
In general, I do my best to be pleasant and good-natured with others. But... I can't say I'm... "all here," as they say.
As I mentioned, my powers dole out - ah, what did I call them? "Psychedelic effects"? To be more precise, they deal hallucinations and paranoia, among other things.
And... that magic is stored within my blood. It courses through me, constantly, in the form of what we call "psychotoxins"; that is, a substance that can kill with a high enough dose, and muddles the mind even at its lowest doses.
...
And I am not immune to it, despite being full to the brim with it.
I'm sure you can understand what it is I'm getting at. There are times where I can't say I'm in control of myself... though I do my best to keep myself leashed and collared to prevent that.
There's a reason my name is Loupgarou, I suppose.