shatterdriven | Seasons Inbox

[He shrugs.] I have trust issues. The fact I didn't burst through your door is my trust. But I got stages. I mean...you saw some of why. [The dreams and all.]

And I'm not saying my chaos energy only ends badly. But it can. And if it does, that's me being used to hurt people and that...

[He frowns.] I don't want that. But I'm willing to let people I trust to study or use it, I just need to be careful. Because there is a big chance of it ending badly.

I mean, that is the hope, but a big gathering means most danger. Shadow's the back up plan.

Trust may come in stages, but even I know not to tell someone I trust them and then do the opposite. Especially because I know not trusting anyone well.

So you can't fully use that against me because my trust is just as fragile if not more. And nothing breaks it faster than a lie about where we stand.

[It's his turn to shrug.] I also get that from experience in doing the harm even if I didn't start it...including to my own body. Same thing though. I have personal opinions on that, but those weren't the point.

I suggest if you have concerns you have more sound plans, or less drastic backup alongside Shadow. You could take some of my Pokemon, or Grim Birdie.

I said you were trustworthy. Not that I trust you. At least in the level you're wanting.

I know you can be trusted, but trusting deeply is...

[He pauses. Foot tapping on the ground. Thinking over what they talked about in the dream.]

You saw me treating my injury as a kid. That was....my only option for a long time. I didn't even have the option to go to a professional.

[Now he's pacing. Trying to dig out the words.]

It was make do, or simply not make it. And its....

Trying.

To trust and rely on people when things have been....

[His hand reaches up. Fusses with the short quills. The quills that are still taking so long to grow to a proper length.]

Stressful.

Is...

Not a habit.

I've been trying to better about it, but its an....easy....trap. I'm hoping if I get all my quills, it'll be easier to....be...better.

[He stops, his back to Nine, arms wrapped tight around him.] I still haven't been able to talk to anyone about what happened except the person I don't need to explain anything to.

....I could bring the Pokemon. I might damage Birdie if its a chaos burst situation.

Saying someone is trustworthy does come with the implication that you do have some trust. But it's also subjective and just not something I'd do. But trusting me saying that it's better for you to leave this alone isn't that deep. It's as simple as why you don't put your hand in a bonfire.

[He listens as Sonic goes on, but while he can empathize, he can't sympathize very well. He's not sensitive to these things the way Sonic is, and not because he's a bit older than the hedgehog. He was never allowed to be sensitive because it was unsafe.

He just had to push forward by himself because there wasn't anything to compare it to.]

As far as being forced to rely on yourself, you're not saying anything I haven't also been through. I didn't even know what professional treatment was before I got here or that it was something lacking. And I was forced to take care of myself because no one else would. They pretended they didn't see me. My tails still haven't recovered even years later and with the knowledge how to take care of them so they thin fur looks more natural. I'll probably have the physical evidence of why I'm how I am for the rest of my life.

[He walks over to Sonic.]

I'm not saying that you just need to get over it, because I haven't and have no real desire to do the same. But I also know when to accept that I'm in a situation outside of how I ever would have had to do...anything in my own universe and to take what others are telling me into account if I don't know what I'm up against.

I have to touch people to survive and have a job that makes me deal with people. Two things I despise because they force me to ignore the things that have kept me safe my whole life.

Wanting your quills back so you can work on processing and recovering better is fair. Being reckless and evasive not so much.

[A pause.]

The two I'm offering are both susceptible to electricity so they're at no more risk than Birdie would be. So you can take any combination or all three.

And I do. Again, I didn't come bursting in through your window. I figured you didn't hand them over because you didn't realize it would bother me, and that was the case. Not because I thought you were hiding or using them.

[So its not like he has no trust.]

[He looks over at Nine, and at his tails.] Is that why the legs always surround your real tails? [A pause.] We...could probably do something about the damage. Later. Something to talk about later, but just if you're open to talking about it.

[He wonders if he can't fly with them like Tails does.]

[He looks down at the floor, hands rubbing his arms. Fingers digging in a bit over where the IVs had been stuck into him.]

My body is hard mode. I can....I can usually kick my own butt about a lot of things, but my body has...its always been a difficult thing. I love Maddie. She's great. She's kind. She's patient. She's mom. It still took three months before I let her give me a basic physical.

[So when it comes to his being a Project hang ups, its a tall order to redirect.]

I can't leave it. I have to handle it, one way or the other. Doesn't matter the risks. I'll never be able to sleep if I don't have a solid read on the situation myself.

[He knows himself too well for it.]

Chaos energy isn't electricity.

Its a power source, but its not electricity. It looks like it, but I've been hit by tasers and chaos energy. Electrified is just easier to say than describing it. Its like...a wave or...lungs filled with too much air or..... [He shakes his head.] But its not the same as being hit by a taser.

But organic take incidental shocks way better than machines do. Probably because chaos energy is alive and machines generally just don't handle it well.

If you had had so little trust, you'd have had another problem on your plate. You're not entirely too fast for me after all.

[He may or may not be trying to lighten the mood a tiny bit.

At the question, he opens the metal tails and lets Sonic see properly. Obviously trusting he's not going to pull them. The fur of his tails does look pretty healthy but it's not even half as full and fluffy as Tails' are, looking more like what you'd expect from a short-haired cat than a fox...ignoring the fact Nine in general has much smoother fur because his tails used to be extremely fluffy when he was a kid.]

It's part of why I picked tails over anything else, yeah. Even if the procedure was a pain. I could probably do something while I'm here since I'm Summer. But I'm not really set on the idea.

[He sighs, a hand on his hip.]

You're on your own for this if something happens, whether you do something regrettable...or something happen to you. I can't help you more than warning you.

The Chaos energy is close enough to electricity that it does count. Neither Echo, nor Ridge particularly reacted well to even a light tap. And the one immune to electricity and my newest reacted much less. So even though it's not true electricity it might be the case that for some creatures it's close enough that it affects them similarly. Not that I plan to just go around touching everyone's Pokemon with it for a bigger sample size.

Grim Birdie I've upgraded with special sensor that deploys a small barrier of Paradox energy around her essential components in response to Chaos energy. She could still take damage, but probably not enough to put her out of commission and definitely not enough to stop me repairing her.

I mean, there is a difference between 'no trust' and 'think is a threat.' Those are totally different levels. Trust is truly a spectrum of things, especially with trauma. [He does little jazzhands.] Its like the world's worst rollercoaster.

[He leans over, taking a closer look. More thoughtful.] I could probably suggest some stuff to eat for fur health. I don't know what kind of diet you've been using, but I've been doing similar for Shadow. His fur was just terrible when he arrived. I remember what Mom suggested for Tails, and fox diets should hopefully be consistent across the multiverse.

Any internal damage would need more like....medical, magical professional thing. And maybe some experiments with chaos energy, but later. Later thing. [His voice is definitely lowered, his ears twitching, but the anxiety Is Real. Its still a lot he's making the offer.]

I know. That's usually how this goes. Either it works out, or I eat dirt, but I...just...have to. [The Anxiety Is So Real.]

....were you testing chaos energy on your Pokemon? [He looks Concerned.]

It can also be how the contact is. Chaos is....malleable like that. Connecting to the quill can cause a shock, but it also does....other stuff.

[He purses his lips.] It does take A LOT to fry....but will she listen if I tell her to leave the area? Just in case?

Threat wouldn't be what I was aiming for, but I would hit you with something and make you pay for the damages.

And, no offense, but my dad is the current expert on fur upkeep, especially tails. And he insists on all the cooking to make sure my diet is balanced. There's no internal damage thankfully I was at least lucky they were never more than sprained.

[Eating dirt is the best outcome.]

I asked their help, yes. Just touching quill and then a tiny bit of channels energy. I wanted to be sure if it was safe for them, or they should fully avoid it. Ridge and Echo especially because they like to be in the lab.

As far as Birdie goes, it depends on her assessment of the situation. If she deems it worth the risk to help you then she won't leave.

I mean, you could try. I think GUN is still trying to figure out if they could bill me for the gravity trap I broke in their headquarters.

Not my fault their 'Team Sonic proof vault' was not, in fact, Team Sonic proof. [Because the vault was ABSOLUTELY designed with them in mind, he was the only one with a steady supply of rings and their AWOL agents hadn't been that long before the heist.]

Hmmm, I wonder if its because the fur was ripped out....though it could also be stress. The rest of your fur still implies fluffy, though it can be hard to judge just HOW fluffy you guys are supposed to be, dunno why my world is just that much fluffier.

...can you fly with just the two?

[Excuse you, there was no dirt eating. A lot of posturing on Morty's side, and Sonic poking for weak points because provocation is the name of the people reading game.]

So it could be the shock, but did you account for like the energy surge affect? No, wait, bad wording. Energy caffeine. THAT affect?

How fast can she fly? No, wait, how far can she see? And she does like...think? Or is it just number crunching?

I can. Even if I miss once or twice. I can and have hit Sonic, and I train with Shadow weekly here.

...lack of a hairbrush? But no, foxes have bushy tails. Mine just aren't anymore. Even close to three years here and a year of that being with my dad around.

And yeah, I can fly. Maybe not as fast as some but without trouble.

[He also didn't get rid of the data, so it didn't actually work out unless he only wanted a copy for himself.]

Luxray took to the boost you're referring to. The other two didn't but also probably wouldn't like to try again long enough to see. And my Quagsire...probably wouldn't show signs either way so I've got no data there.

And lastly, she can keep up with you unless you start pushing your upper speeds. But she'll catch up quickly once you do. She can see about 300 yards. More if the terrain's fairly flat.

Hello, Nine. Apologies for the sudden message out of the blue, but I would like to discuss a few things, provided you aren't busy.

This isn't urgent, however; please don't feel as though you have to put down any projects for me. I don't mind waiting for a response.

I'm not busy at the moment. Are you wanting to talk like this, or in person?

... Honestly, I hadn't considered in person to be a potential option; you seem like someone who prefers your space, and I would hate to impose upon you.
But... if you're open to it, I wouldn't mind taking you to a diner for lunch?

I'd be paying, of course.

I appreciate you respecting my boundaries. But if I have time to talk outside of or while doing work then I'm open to in person as long as you can keep pace. [So feel to ask if you can meet whenever you want to.]

What's the diner? We can either meet from here or I can find you there if your place isn't on the way instead.

Your boundaries are important. Not just to me, but in general -
If anyone disrespects them, tell me. I'll remove the nuisance for you.

[Just... offered up so pleasantly, a smile in his voice.]

As for where, the diner is a small, cozy spot in Solarpeak; I'm quite fond of it, as it offers vegan options alongside their regular menu.
You'll likely find something you like, and I'll have plenty that I can enjoy, as well.

Here -

[GPS ping! Showing Nine right where the address is.]

I'm currently in Dayrise. So if it would be simpler to meet at the diner, we can do so; but if you'd like to meet halfway due to being elsewhere, we can do that as well.
Whichever provides you the most ease.

I'll be sure to remember that.

[Is this even a fraction of the protective murder energy that Sonic is surrounded with? It felt kind of nice.

Nine is tempted to ask if it doesn't count as vegan options within the regular menu and not alongside it, but it's passing and he quickly just sorts out his travel time.]

Actually, I can be there in about ten minutes with a portal. I just need to sort out lunches for the Pokemon first. Does that work for you?

[Oh, it's going to be a lot more than just a fraction. Nine is someone who's dearly precious to Lycaon -
That means Louis is already willing to lay down his life for the little fox. And Louis is very, very, very, very difficult to kill.
~~Just wait until he and Lycaon are an item, Nine'll get to experience a good and proper mama bear in the form of a little undead twink.~~]

That works just fine for me, yes; I can meet you there. Thanks to teleport crystals, the walk will only take me about five minutes.
I'll use the extra five to pick a good table for us. One with booths by a window, obviously.

[That meshes well with the fact Nine's also fiercely loyal toward Lycaon and all the things and the people that matter to him. If Louis needs him, he's basically on call from the moment they met onward...even if he'll never say so out loud. ~~And if given the tools to, he'll reshape the world for his family in an instant.~~]

Then I'll see you in ten minutes.

[It's almost exactly ten minutes later when a swirling red portal opens outside the diner and Nine steps through, looking up at the diner as it closes behind him. Because only someone reckless leaves such gates open. He walks inside and looks around for Louis.]

[Thankfully, Louis's not hard to spot thanks to the whole "pearlescent hair and foot tall horns" thing - though he's made it even easier, his outfit almost entirely a bright, blood red color with even the nails to match.
Which'll be nice and easy to see when Louis lifts a hand high and waves it to get Nine's attention! At a booth table, of course.

From the looks of it, he has menus, but hasn't ordered anything yet - he'd been waiting, obviously, for Nine to arrive.]

[Even harder to miss when you're so short that you have to actively look up at basically every person in this world. Also that is a lot of red.

Walking over to the booth, he slides in across from Louis...looking more like someone's eight-year-old due to his height.]

You haven't even ordered a drink yet?

[He's not judging, just a little surprised.]

...

[Before he answers, Louis turns to rifle through his little hammerspace bag beside him to retrieve something, which he passes to Nine once he finds it -
It's a really, really nice looking cushion. Tall and thick, velvet, with high quality golden tassels.]

Here. I carry this for when I find myself too low at tables; you run the risk of getting your sleeves in your food, and I'd hate that for such a nice jacket as yours.

[... Louis's only five feet tall, so, y'know. It's a necessity.]

And, no, I haven't; I wanted to wait for you. ... It's also less work on the waitstaff, not forcing them to flit back and forth between our table for every bit of an order.

[This is not an insulting thought, but...who are you and how are you like this? Before Lycaon, Nine has never meant someone so considerate.

He takes the cushion and places it under him, still not fully used to being thought of with consideration.]

Thanks. And I guess that is a good point, since it's only been a few minutes.

[Despite being generally Not A Good Person™, being considerate of others is a trait Louis prides himself in!
Especially when it's someone important to him. Welcome to the world of being important to Louis, Nine.

All of that is even being met with a warm little smile from the Grim Reaper, too.]

That, too; waiting for just a few minutes doesn't harm me at all, so why not wait for you, hm?
Besides...

[Sitting up taller, looking out at everyone on the floor - he locks eyes with a waitress who doesn't look busy, and his own flash orange for just a second...
Which means the waitress is making her way over immediately and without question, of course.]

... It's easy to get one of the waitstaff over here as needed, regardless.
Why not have a look at the menu? I already have an idea of what I would like to order.

And once they're making it for us, we can discuss what's on my mind.

[Give him about six months and maybe he'll have settled into it. And without the obligatory "You're Not My Real Momma Bear" phase.

He does quirk an eyebrow at the flash of orange and the waitress immediately coming over. Some sort of compelling maybe? It's bright enough in here that she couldn't have just noticed from a distance and reacted immediately.

He opens his menu to look it over. The nice thing about not being picky is it's not hard to find things you'll eat. The hard thing is being spoiled for choice. So it takes him a moment to settle on something.]

I'll just take the BLT with onion rings and an iced tea if that's okay.

Of course. You can have anything you'd like, Nine.

[The waitress ends up at their table, and for a moment she seems confused, as if she's not sure how or when she got there... but seems to shrug it off, lifting up her notepad.
Louis gives her their order - Nine's BLT, a vegan quiche for himself, iced tea for both - and she's quick to scurry off to get their order to the kitchen.]

... After we finish, we can get a dessert of some kind, if you'd like; I've heard you don't have much of a sweet tooth, but the offer is there for you.

At any rate - I have a few different things I wish to discuss... but the first is a simple one.
If you were invited to a party, something simple and casual, would you want to attend?

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voice, un: goated; forward dating this for after the AU event but before the Event-event

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